What I’m Looking For

All Our lives were searching for something.
Something that gives us peace
Something that makes us feel secure.
Something that makes you feel your time is worthwhile.
Something that makes you feel on top of the world.

And our life is spent in the pursuit of these things. So often we forget to just sit back and watch the world go by. Theres so much that has changed. i open the musty cardboard box and fish out notes written to me in the 9th grade and they make me smile. Im also slightly amused at how important things that hold no value to me anymore were back then.

Nostalgia suddenly hits you hard in your abdomen and its like a dull ache and mental disease thats hard to overcome. Youre captured as alluring monster engulfs you in its trap and everything around you is now a blur. And then the memories seep in. That time when u raced to the bus so that you could get the last seat window on the way back,The day you tried to bunk your first class, Water Fights, the first time you were on stage, The first time you mattered, the time you snuck out of your house and walked around the block at 3 a.m. just because you could. The times when you ate ice even though u had a cold just to rebel. The absolute elation felt when you won. When you werent indifferent to anything. When you didnt know what complicated means. When there was a clear demarcation between black and white and you werent trying to work your way through the shades of grey.Where being truthful was the right way to be. You yearn to go back to being that for most of us in any case. A time when you could be impulsive, not think of consequences and not have to even think about planning your next move.

Do you want go back then ? Of course you do, But

The Past is Just a Record Of Everything We’re Not.

And i Still Havent Found What I’m Looking For.