What I’m Looking For

All Our lives were searching for something.
Something that gives us peace
Something that makes us feel secure.
Something that makes you feel your time is worthwhile.
Something that makes you feel on top of the world.

And our life is spent in the pursuit of these things. So often we forget to just sit back and watch the world go by. Theres so much that has changed. i open the musty cardboard box and fish out notes written to me in the 9th grade and they make me smile. Im also slightly amused at how important things that hold no value to me anymore were back then.

Nostalgia suddenly hits you hard in your abdomen and its like a dull ache and mental disease thats hard to overcome. Youre captured as alluring monster engulfs you in its trap and everything around you is now a blur. And then the memories seep in. That time when u raced to the bus so that you could get the last seat window on the way back,The day you tried to bunk your first class, Water Fights, the first time you were on stage, The first time you mattered, the time you snuck out of your house and walked around the block at 3 a.m. just because you could. The times when you ate ice even though u had a cold just to rebel. The absolute elation felt when you won. When you werent indifferent to anything. When you didnt know what complicated means. When there was a clear demarcation between black and white and you werent trying to work your way through the shades of grey.Where being truthful was the right way to be. You yearn to go back to being that for most of us in any case. A time when you could be impulsive, not think of consequences and not have to even think about planning your next move.

Do you want go back then ? Of course you do, But

The Past is Just a Record Of Everything We’re Not.

And i Still Havent Found What I’m Looking For.

Cuz what goes around, comes around

All I needed was your time and attention,
When you were busy partying and ignoring me like hell,
I cried; even then I apologized for always pestering you with my unlimited phone calls and texts;
You used to switch off your phone every night,

I still used to wait, wait for you to realize your mistake, wait for you to come back to me, but all was in vain!

One bright morning, it was enough.
I was on ventilation since a week, and you showed no concern.
Only then, I realized how big of a jerk you were.
I tried to mend my ways, ignore you in every respect possible, kill your thoughts out of my mind and heart, deleted your number, blocked you from every site; it didn’t work. Of course it wouldn’t, I considered you my everything. ♥

Now I am happy in my own life, better off without YOU. ♥
Your name doesn’t cause any effect on me anymore, your pics that you upload on your profile makes me hate you more, I thank God for this, I know the real man will come along. ♥

There are rumors along the street. A girl ditched you and now you spend your nights ALONE.
Now every time you call her, all you get is a ‘BUSY’ tone.
I think you found out, that she is doing the same exact thing that you did to me.
It’s your heart now that’s cheated and shattered. ♥

I’m sorry but your continuous calling me won’t bring me back to you.
I left your chapter way back; and now I have found the RIGHT GUY; who helped me know the real meaning of ‘LOVE’ ♥

Hope you understand that’s the way it goes,
“What goes around, comes all the way back around.’ ♥